The Bitter-Sweet Party

***disclaimer!!! you are about to be bombarded with pictures!***

Where has the time gone?! My baby is growing up so so fast.  When Rylee turned one I was in shock.  This time it's taking a toll on my emotions. I'm not sure if it's life's most recent circumstances or the uncertainty of if there will be more children, but never the less, I'M SAD!

As I look back at what the last year and 9 months has thrown our way, I'm amazed at what all God had to bring us through to get us to this point.  A year ago I was sick and tired (literally) and I just wanted to meet my baby.  I knew that every day she was inside of me was better for her, but every day that she was in me took a toll on my body. For the first time EVER I am going to put my pregnancy in writing. (don't worry I'll paraphrase!) =)

When we decided that we were ready for another child,. it wasn't like most couples.  It took phone calls. Lots of them.  First, was the insurance company to make sure that our fertility benefits hadn't changed.  Knowing that they were still in place, I called Dr. Lisa to tell her that I was ready.  That was followed by a letter and a call from Dr. Lisa to Dr. Reshef.  Then there was the one to Dr. Reshef to schedule.  Following that were the 3 start up appointments and ultrasounds.  Much to our surprise AND HIS we ended up pregnant the first month.  (It took 21 with Rylee) We were on cloud nine!

We were trying to hold out as long as possible to tell our parents, but with my sickness increasing it was getting HARD! Then the inevitable, at 6.5 weeks my body started trying to lose her.  Our poor parents found out in the turmoil that we were pregnant and the drive to the hospital seemed like years. Once there, Dr. Reshef informed us that Hannah and I were both fine. Over the next 4 weeks pregnancy was MEAN to me.
By 10.5 weeks I had been hospitalized EIGHT times, lost 16.5 pounds and I had a PICC line put in for all of my food/water/nutrients to be put into. This took the pressure off of me to try to eat and a guarantee that my baby was getting what she needed. (picc line pic coming up...you were warned!)

In the next eight weeks I spent time at the hospital for various things from pregnancy and picc line complications.  At 18 weeks I was admitted for bilateral Mastitis.  Isn't that supposed to happen AFTER THE BABY IS BORN?!?! Leave it to me I know. At the time it was very hard to see God's plan or purpose for this pregnancy, but it's things like this that I look back on and think "thank you Jesus for your protection." You see it was then at 18 weeks laying in a dark hospital room miserable from pain that I started contracting every 3 minutes. At first I thought no, can't be.  Then I quickly called for help.  My OB/GYN quickly started fluids as fast as possible.  Through a PICC line they will go FAST!  4 bags later the contractions were down to about 15 minutes and I had to pee so bad I could hardly move.  =) Who knows what would have happened had I not already been there with my Dr.

At 24 weeks I was hospitalized again for "H1N1". I had a sudden onset of fever, chills, and "contractions". With as deadly as H1N1 had been to pregnant women and babies, they weren't about to let me leave the hospital.  My fever was so high none of the hospital thermometers could get it and my heart rate was higher than the baby's.  NOT GOOD!  They stuck me in isolation and started shoving tamiflu down my throat.  In the process they took the PICC line out since they weren't sure what was going on. After the night I was admitted nothing happened again.  No fever, no symptoms, just lots of sleeping.  On October 28th Dr. Lisa made her daily visit and told me that I was gonna go home, but to stay away from Rylee for a week.  Gee thanks.  (She wasn't allowed to come to the isolation room!) A few minutes later she came back in and said she was keeping me one more night.  dream.shattered.

In the early hours of October 29th my IV had messed up so I called my nurse. In the two minutes it took her to come in my body started shutting down. I don't remember very much from that night.  It has all been told to me.  They had Ryan call the family in and kicked him out of the room just as the rapid response team arrived.I remember the first one telling me his name and that he was from ICU and that's when I knew something was bad wrong.  As hard as a tried I could talk or nod. The last thing I remember is thinking poor Ryan is going to lose his wife and baby in the same night.  about 7 hours later I was informed that I had had a CAT scan, x-rays, heart tests and blood work and that results to some were still pending.  i was also informed that I had 3 new drs and that there was still and emergency team on stand by in case they had to deliver Hannah.  What???  I'm only 24 weeks.  she will never make it.  Later on we learned that I was septic and that my body was trying to fight a blood infection caused by my PICC line.  I was put on strong IV antibiotics as a precaution during my downfall and that is what was making me feel better.  Thank you  Lord for a christian Dr. who knows your will.  had I been home I would have died.(and after all tests came back it was proven that I never even had the flu, let alone H1N1!)

That was all of the drama for a while. Well, except for the daily vomiting, but by this point that was simply life.  We got Rylee's new bed ordered, Hannah's cradle out and set up, baby showers...you know the necessities.  At 33 weeks I told Ryan that we needed to go to the hospital.  He asked if I was contracting again and I said "Yes, but I'm not in labor.  I PROMISE I have a kidney stone and I can't take it anymore.  The pain is making me contract."  We went in and I told the nurse what was going on and she thought I had lost. my. mind. My urine didn't look bad and I was after all, still walking and functioning (you'd have thought by now they would have learned that not much slows me down.  It's a small hospital and ALMOST all of them knew me on a first name basis...BEFORE checking in) I found out that she didn't even tell the Dr that's what I thought was wrong. I told her and she ordered an ultra sound.  What do you ya know...low in the left kidney there was a stone.  Fantastic.  Now give me drugs and let me go home!!!

That seemed to be the end of all the crazy things that could happen to me. After the stone I only had my labor stopped two more times.  Nothing that most other women don't go through.  By this point I just wanted to be done.  The c-section was scheduled for Feb.6th and my only priority was keeping this baby in my belly until sometime after Rylee's 2nd birthday party. Party came and party went and I was quite proud that I had managed to do so. For those of you that forgot I was rather LARGE. OK, Hannah ready, set, come out!

Be careful what you wish for!!!!  On January 27th I got home from work about 9:00 at night and just didn't feel great.  Could it be?  Wait, if I go they will probably stop my labor.  Nope, not going.  Man, that makes a long night.  However, with the huge ice storm coming it could be the weather making me not feel good.  With Rylee already in bed it was time to just get in bed.  LONGEST. NIGHT. EVER.  I took some Tylenol PM and went to bed. Here's what I learned.  In active labor no matter what you take you will still wake up and hurt.  The "PM" in the tylenol just makes you too stupid to ever look at a clock.  (important when it comes to contractions)  The Dr. called the next morning to cancel my appointment for that day due to a lot of ice headed our way but some already here.  It was at that instant when I said "umm, I've been in labor all night" that my husband learned of my suffering.  oops.  We got to the hospital only to find out that I was dialating and contracting 4 minutes apart.  Off to the O.R. we were going...fast. Thankfully, once we saw that I was contracting that often we told everyone to head out because Dr. Lisa was waiting for NO ONE!  They arrived just in time to see me head on my way.  At 2:03 in the afternoon, weighing in at 6 lbs 4 ounces Hannah Renae was welcomed to the world with LOTS of tears. 

As I have spent the last few weeks thinking back on all we came through to get here it makes me realize Hannah has a real purpose in this world. I can't wait to see what will become of her. I'm excited to watch her chase her dreams and achieve her goals.  But for now I just enjoy watching her learn, explore, play, and sleep. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH RENAE!